I'm liking this cancer thing. I feel better than I have in a year, everyone is really nice to me and telling me how great I look, and I'm getting away with murder. Sometimes I feel like I could chew off my arm for a cigarette, but that's another story.
A bone marrow aspiration (a teaspoon of marrow was sucked out of my hip bone) was done on St. Patrick's Day, but a sample of the bone itself was not taken. This was likely due to my screaming and cursing, and I may have threatened someone's life but I can't remember. Last week I had an ultrasound of my neck, a close look at lymph nodes to choose one for removal. No results from that yet, but I hope to hear soon.
Yesterday I saw my general practioner, Dr. Ingray, who suggested that both procedures (removal of a lymph node and a piece of my hip bone) could be done at the same time, while I'm out cold in la-la land, and this sounds like an efficient and sensible idea. It's also the only way that anyone is getting that bone sample, because I refuse to have it done without general anesthesia.
My oncologist hasn't scheduled either procedure yet, so hopefully we can intercept her before I'm set up for biopsies on two different days in two different hospitals.
Being an impatient person, I'm frustrated that this is dragging on so long. I was diagnosed Jan. 12, two and a half months ago. That's about ten weeks or 80 days ago. I know the lung cancer is adenocarcinoma, but don't know if it's Stage 1, 2, 3, or 4. I don't know what kind of cancer I have in my lymph nodes, my spleen and my bone marrow. I don't know if the lung wedge resection surgery I had Feb. 5 was successful in removing one, two or all three tumors. I don't know if I'll be having more surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy or nothing at all. I don't know whether or not to renew a one-year subscription to Digital Photo magazine.
But, on the up side, people are sending me all kinds of information on how to cure cancer. For example, eating asparagus cures cancer. Who knew? Ironically, I love asparagus and eat it at least several times a week. Have been for years. Very odd that I have cancer.
There are many secret cures for cancer, and they've been around since cancer was identified and given a name. It's usually a pill or a potion, but there are a few really nasty ones out there that involve enemas.
Long lists of testimonials are written by people like Agnes in New Jersey, whose loving husband was on his death bed with only weeks left to live, wasted away to nothing and in terrible pain. The doctors said there was no hope, the cancer was inoperable, untreatable and just go buy the damn casket. Then... the secret formula was administered and, in just a few short weeks, Loving Husband is the picture of health, completely recovered. Secret formula that's been around for decades. Secret formula that's been successful in hundreds of cases, maybe thousands. And, for only $49.95 plus shipping and handling, you can buy the secret formula.
Another popular cure is the one that the big, evil pharmaceutical companies got wind of as soon as it was accidentally discovered by some kindly doctor or maybe even a housewife. So, the story goes, the Big Pharma obtained the formula by some nefarious means for the sole purpose of locking it away where no one could benefit from it. They did this, of course, because a cure for cancer would cost them billions of dollars. Apparently it's much more profitable to let a customer die than to prolong their life for another few decades of spending money on the usual prescriptions that people without cancer buy anyway.
These cures, in the form of medicine, a book or a cd, are usually sold by Dr. McGillicuddy or some such name. A doctor, sometimes, but Google may reveal that he's a doctor of dentistry or veterinary medicine. Or that his diploma was issued by a university that never existed, his scientific research was done in a hospital that never existed and his articles were published in a medical journal that never existed.
One of my favourites is the doctor (a vet) who claimed his knowledge of curing cancer was largely developed from performing autopsies. Somebody did the math and discovered that, in addition to working full-time as a veterinarian, he would have had to have performed autopsies five days a week, six hours a day, for 12 years! Never mind that it's illegal to carve up a corpse without a license to practice medicine (on humans).
Although I do appreciate the thought, I have a hard time listening to an otherwise intelligent person tell me how I can cure my cancer by buying a book of secret knowledge or drinking essiac tea. I will, however, continue to eat asparagus, but that's just because I love it.
Myrtle myrtle you just keep on trucking life is a riot sometimes I NEVER NEVER heard the mushroom saying until 3 weeks ago so for 57 years I never ran into it NOW I havve heard it 3 times amazing and maybe they just do not know what is going on I know my cousin had the same problem and he is in edmonton doing treatment they finally found out he has a rare form of cancer he said SHIT I would be different even with that he iis in treatment but has weekends off who knows eh!
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